There was a time in my life when I didn’t go more than a few days out of the water. Between practice, playing, or even vacationing, my hair was permanently wet. I’d go to bed with it wet and wake up with it still wet. And that was just the way I liked it. My parents’ go-to punishment was the threat of not going to practice because I always wanted to go so badly.
It was my place. Where I could escape everything and just relax. Although the initial plunge was always painful and chilly, that first stroke always made me feel better. Submerging myself in the water was like washing away all the stress of that day. The splashing of the water and the smell of the chlorine soothed me. I felt at home.
A few months ago, though, I felt a lot differently about swimming. The team I grew up with broke my heart. I went through all the phases of a break up. I was sad because things were not going to be the same. I was angry because I could not believe that anyone could treat someone the way I was treated. I projected that on the sport and forgot all of the experiences I was blessed to have. However, today I realized that I was wrong.
Although all of those things truthfully happened, for undisclosed reasons, it was not the team that broke my heart. The ERRA Barracudas were the team that started my love for the sport. Before I was even old enough to swim myself, I remember sitting on the edge of the pool when my mom was coaching and feeling so special and important when the “big kids” talked to me. I wanted to be just like them.
Those memories started a lifetime full of positive relationships. From being four with my feet swinging in the pool to my final swim meet in July 2013, I met people that changed my life. So, even though my heart aches that my time with the ‘Cudas abruptly ended last summer, I am finally at peace with it.
As I was standing around at the meet tonight, I realized how rich I am in friendships specifically thanks to the swimming.
Those “big kids” grew up to be my coaches and my role models. I grew up watching them; not only in swimming, but also through their high school careers, and their college years (though only during summers), and now a lot of them are married and starting families of their own. I love seeing their lives progress, and I still look up to them although they probably don’t even know how much of an impact they made on me. Without swimming, I would not be the person I am today, as even now I strive to be like those women.
In my own swimming career, I met so many outstanding individuals who I am happy to still call my friends. From the boys I used to race and beat badly (before puberty kicked in at least 😉 ) to the ladies I shared my first state championship meet with when I was 10, my youth was spent creating lifetime friendships all thanks to the water. All through the awkward middle school years, the girls at VAST practice were there for me and so was the water, no matter the gossip or fights that happened at school or home. My years on the Spotswood High School swim team completely made my high school years and provided me with even more friendships and role models.
Although my swimming career ended after high school, I still get to give back to the SHS team that gave so much to me, and I could not be more blessed. That’s one of the things I realized tonight. Although some people did not appreciate the way that I gave back to the ERRA team, I was completely blessed to play a role in the lives of all the kids. As soon as I got to the meet, I was surrounded by a swarm of kiddos who were absolutely thrilled to see me. They told me about their lives and how much time they had dropped, and some of them were even proud of the way their strokes improved and made sure to let me know about it. I watched them swim and gave high fives when I saw them again, and all I can hope is that in my 16 years on the team I was a role model to at least one because I had so many myself.
Almost even more heartwarming were the parents that took the time to talk to me. Leaving the team was not my choice, but a lot of the parents don’t really know the true reason why. It was comforting to hear them ask how my life was because they care about me. Relationships with parents are another way that swimming has touched me. A few of them especially who always offer to help me out if I ever need anything. Their kids have made an impact on my life, but so have they, and I am so thankful for that.
As all of this was happening at the meet, I was surrounded by a group of my peers who have been with me throughout my whole life, thanks to swimming. Girls & boys who are younger than me, but who were there on the toughest days, and who played a major part in me becoming who I am. They’re also role models to me. I look up to them and the way they look at life and I have for a long time. They have always given me a positive outlook on life because things couldn’t be so bad with them around.
At the end of the day, it isn’t about winning or losing or the drama involved. I know what really happened with the break up. Instead, it’s about a love for and knowledge of the water that was instilled with me that I hopefully helped instill in my kids. Today, it was a blessing to attend a meet where I could see the 5 year old girl who was too young to swim on the team finally get into the water and to see a few of my high school swimmers swim in the last meet I’ll ever see them in.
Swimming has given me a lot in my life, and that is something nobody can take away from me. The experiences, but most of all the relationships, were life changing. Hopefully I’ve given at least one kid the opportunity to experience the same love for the water that I have.
After all, you can take the ‘Cuda out of the water, but you can’t take the ‘Cuda out of the girl.
oh the places you'll go 
Katherine,
That’s thoughtful. And it really does go to show you get to decide what makes you happy or not. Good for you for focusing on what you see as positive. Competitive swimming is like a crucible – it concentrates everything: the endurance, the perseverance, the focus, the friendships, the memories.